PEOPLE'S BEHAVIORS THAT DRIVE YOU CRAZY
Last week I covered how we "should" on others by way of unsolicited advice.
This week I'm addressing how we "should: on others with collective expectations, as in "people should....."
We sometimes call these "pet peeves," with the mindset that anyone with any intelligence would agree with us about a specific "right way" to behave. Examples include:
*What time neighbors "should" stop making noise
*How to drive
*How to chew and other table manners
*Talking on phone loudly in public, etc.
Admit it, there are probably one or two things that drive you crazy when people don't follow your 'rules.'
Here's the truth. Other people cannot make you angry. They simply behave the way they do and we get angry about it. The anger stems from a belief that other people "must" act a certain way. Want more peace, serenity, and patience in your life? Keep reading...
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) says, what we think influences how we feel, which influences how we behave. The key to not getting frustrated is to reduce the internal beliefs that are irrational. It is irrational to think that everyone is going to act the way we want.
The next time you get irritated, do a self-check. Is it a DEMAND you are carrying around in your head that says "it must be this way or else I will be irritated?" If you reduce the DEMAND from a "must" to a "nice to have" you can reduce the level of emotional reaction that happens inside.
For instance, Instead of "Babies on airplanes must not cry," it is more realistic to have that be a preference: "It would be nice if babies on airplanes didn't cry, but it is not realistic to expect it. This is an unfortunate event either way, but to keep yourself from becoming an angry out burster, this is a great coping skill.
If this is a lesson you'd like to discuss further, lets do a mini-lesson together on just this topic. Find out more here: https://www.recoverlifecoach.net/contact
see related video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lwFHN1-TdY
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