Overconfidence can be a threat to healthy recovery. Here are some signs:
Calling your own shots:
When we first entered recovery, we were very willing to follow input from those who were helping us. As time progresses and we begin to feel better, it becomes easy to reject feedback from those same people. Our old tapes begin to replay: "I know what is best for me," or "My way is better, I'll do it myself." I've heard it called being a "yes-butter"- "Yes, but I am not like the rest," or "Yes, but my case is different, etc.” We believe our situation is different and other people just don't 'get it,' otherwise known as terminal uniqueness. In essence, we attempt to take back total control of our life and forget that is the very same thinking that led to addiction in the first place.
Inability to hear what others are saying:
Is the second sign of overconfidence. Has this happened to you? You were in a meeting and discounted what others were saying because you think you knew better. We are so well practiced at listening to our own voice of justification that we are unable to absorb input from outside sources. We often think, "that doesn’t apply to me.” One client's story goes like this: "My old friends invited me to a birthday party. I called my sponsor who told me to avoid the party. I went anyway because I had confidence in myself. When I got there, everybody was using. Before long, I found myself thinking, maybe this time…That was when I relapsed."
Feeling contempt prior to investigation:
is the third sign of overconfidence. Here, we discount methods of recovery that have proven effective. Has this happened to you? It is suggested to go to a meeting. After the first fifteen minutes, you decide the meeting is not for you and leave because no one there has anything to offer. Or, perhaps you didn’t even go because you didn’t think you would get anything out of it.
Wanting immediate results and having unrealistic expectations:
is the fourth sign of overconfidence. We want instant gratification. You may have said to yourself, "I have been sober six months and my employer still hasn't given me back all of my responsibility.” Or, "My partner doesn’t trust me even though I only lied while using," (after using for years)
Our thinking here is, "Now that I’m sober, the world will give me what I want and will give it to me now. If it doesn’t, then why should I bother with abstinence? Some get an attitude that the world owes us, or we expect rewards for giving up alcohol or drugs. Life in recovery does get better, but it takes time and it is not always in “our” time frame. Remember, recovery is a process – not an event.
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