Communication Communication Communication

Here's a link to my most recent video

"HIDE AND BLAME" on what not to do if you want to have good communication in your relationships.

https://youtu.be/xF7uePh2FFo

Almost everyone I work with requests help with improving their communication skills. In order to communicate, you first need to know the answers to this simple question: "WHAT DO I THINK, FEEL, AND NEED? If you don't know the answer to this question, how do you know what to ask of others? People say things like "I want to be on the same page," but what does that actually mean? Knowing what you think, feel, and need, will empower you to confidently express yourself with less fear of how others will respond. Now, go forth and communicate!

31 Year Anniversary. Still here.

See my latest video here:

https://youtu.be/ztwES6AXZHY

Healthy Recovery & Relationship Ingredients:

1. Stop allowing other's thoughts or behaviors determine your happiness. If you put your happiness in the hands of another, you're only going to be as happy as they are perfect.

2. Build your self-confidence. The best defense against being a victim is having a solid sense of your own worthiness. If you want to matter to others, start with yourself.

3. Pick your battles carefully. Some things are negotiable and some are not. Be honest with yourself and know the difference.

4. Don't try to decide what the future is going to be. Let life unfold before you. If I had determined what I thought I could or couldn't handle beforehand, I would have left our marriage, never knowing just how strong or capable I truly am.

5. Set them free: Let others have the freedom to make their own choices. You cannot control and enjoy people any more than you can control and enjoy alcohol or drugs.

6. One day at a time. Focus on doing your best right here, right now. You'll never get this moment back. Enjoy it to its fullest.

"Heal Thyself"

I want to be a quitter, again. I quit alcohol ten years ago, now I'm attempting to

quit nicotine. https://youtu.be/qxnC2dphaoA

I teach about Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms on a regular basis. It's time to see if I can walk my talk.

Can I be honest? Withdrawal still sucks! Let's review the symptoms as my internal sailor dialogue is screaming "rucka-sucka-rucka-sucka!!" (That's the cleaned up version.)

The Most Common Symptoms of PAWS Mood swings, anxiety, irritability, low energy, low enthusiasm (anhedonia), difficulty concentrating, memory problems, disturbed sleep, and worst of all - CRAVINGS!

·        

What withdrawal looks like

Defense against relapse while experiencing withdrawal:

Know your triggers, pray/meditate, self-care, journaling, remind yourself why you want to quit. I can also add that telling people I'm quitting carries a lot of responsibility to not go back. Gotta practice what I preach, right?

Knowing what to expect is helpful because I also know it will pass if I give it enough time. Thanks to all of you who have quit before the rest of us to demonstrate that it's possible.