Signs Fear is Running Your Life
Source: 10 Signs Fear is Running Your Life by Lissa Rankin, M.D.
1. You find yourself striving for an impossible-to-achieve standard of perfection.
When you're afraid (of criticism, failure, and rejection), you'll do anything to try to become "perfect." Of course, the mask of perfection also separates you from what you most want: real intimacy, love, and acceptance for your true self.
2. You settle for less than your dreams.
When you're afraid to take risks and go for what you really want, you convince yourself that your less-than-juicy life is as good as it gets. When fear runs the show, you forget how to dream. You compromise in the name of being "realistic." But settling isn't realism; it's a devastating symptom of fear.
3. You say yes when you mean no.
When you're afraid to disappoint people or get rejected if you don't say yes, you'll fall into fear-based, people-pleasing, self-sacrificing behaviors that lead to resentment. But when fear is no longer running the show, you say no when it feels self-loving. As they say, "No" is a complete sentence. This doesn't mean you won't devote yourself to generosity and service. It means the service stems from a genuine love-based (rather than a fear-based) motivation.
4. You say no when you mean yes.
When you're afraid, you're unlikely to take risks. You'll feel the yearning to start your own business, take that bucket list trip, have a baby, or take an art class—but you'll say no because you're afraid to fail, afraid to succeed, afraid to get rejected, afraid to stir things up, afraid to get out of your comfort zone.
5. You numb yourself with food, alcohol, technology, or excessive busyness.
Fear causes inner pain, which we desperately try to numb with substances and behaviors. But these only put a temporary Band-Aid on the pain and ultimately decrease our self-esteem in the long run. When you're not afraid to be quiet with yourself, face your inner demons, and heal from the core, you'll no longer need the distractions. You'll have the courage to do the transformative work that leads you to freedom on the other side of your journey.
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